Take up your cross – your nature and character
We must take up our daily cross. This cross is in the first place our own nature and character. If someone tells us his attitude towards us, it hurts us. The problem with many beginners is that although they have received Christ, their nature, the old self, is so strong that it cannot stand criticism and use it as an incentive for true repentance. They fail to use this inner pain to look at Christ scourged, crowned with thorns and crucified or to unite their pain to His pain. The old self, on the contrary, either turns this painful wound into hatred towards the brother – this works automatically without any effort – or indulges in self-pity, which also is a false path. We often not only nourish our wounded feelings for years, but we masterfully reopen or even deepen the wound. So we really have reason to know ourselves more and more deeply and motivation to fight against the spiritual poison in us. In such situations, we are literally pushed with great force into self-pity or hatred, coupled with criticism of the brother of course, so we need to make the first, essential step: “Deny yourself.” “Lord Jesus, now I deny myself.” Often it is a different word: “Arise!” “Lord Jesus, I arise!” Other times it is Jesus’ command: “Cut it off!” “Pluck it out!” Jesus says it concerning human sexuality, feelings and thoughts. There is no sense in revolving around it, analyzing or diagnosing it. There is only one thing needed: cut off the thought or feeling, and do not realize a false vision. This is true, what is proven by many saints: principiis obsta – i.e. resist beginnings, or in fuga salus – salvation in flight. It is, in essence, the application of Jesus’ words: “cut off” or “deny yourself”. We have to fight wisely in this sphere and also know the valuable experience of those who fought before us and overcame. It is very important to avoid the near occasions of sin, which applies not only in this delicate sphere of moral purity, but it also applies elsewhere. An old proverb says: “Opportunity makes the thief”, and next, “He who loves danger will perish in it”, or: “The pitcher goes so often to the well that it is broken at last”. These Christian mottos and proverbs are fully rooted in Christ’s words: “deny yourself”.
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